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 Chronic, long-term health needs in your immediate circle will change your business, whether you are a solopreneur or have employees. When you’re running the ship, what happens when you aren’t available to the captain?

JoyGenea and Michelle discuss their plan B’s – how to make a backup plan for unexpected life events, so the anxiety about your business doesn’t make an emotional situation harder to handle.

TRANSCRIPT

M:  Hi everyone! I am Michelle and I own BadCat Digital Marketing.

J:   And I am JoyGenea and I own Solutions by JoyGenea. Welcome to If These Heels Could Talk. Today on our show we will be talking about business, family, and family health issues.

M:   So recently one of us had a husband with a minor heart health scare and over the past couple of years one of us has been dealing with many family health issues.  Today we’re going to talk about how we have and are handling that and what we have learned.

J:    So as women in business I think this is transitioning because men are becoming so much more engaged in family and so forth so I do not want to sound like I am not including them in this conversation.  What I would just say though is the balance between business, family, and health issues as they arise is definitely becoming a very challenging issue. And for someone who owns their own business it becomes an even greater issues because you’re the leader of the ship. 

M:  Yeah, well and with your business you kind of are the ship.

J:  Right.

M:   So how do you keep the ship afloat when everything in your personal life is crazy and kind of focused on this single health issue.  And when they are serious or chronic or long term how do you kind of maneuver around that so that you can make sure you know that your business stays a business.

J:  Yeah,  and I will be the first to admit I have not always been successful at doing that.  And I am a solopreneur you have employees – both have different challenges. 

M:  Absolutely

J:  Like a solopreneur down is ship down.  Planning ahead for that I guess was really kind of what I was thinking of in helping people and having the conversation about planning ahead and how easily and simply you can just be like, “Hey, for crises here is plan B and here is even option C.” 

M:  Yeah, or D or F or J. 

J:  Right and this is true for so many things in life. Having no plan is man down. 

M:  Well it’s like the heart thing with my husband. So when this is happening you know we’re in our mid-forties so we’re thinking we’re not prepared for any of this. You know all of those things that you do when you’re 60 about wills and estates and stuff. The paperwork is sitting from the lawyer. We’ll get around to it someday kind of thing but that stuff’s not all together and when you add in the business on all of that then you are realizing that you have to have that kind of “if you get hit by a bus” back up plan.  If I get hit by a bus tomorrow what happens to business? What happens to my employees? What happens to this and that and it’s not like there is extra time in the day to deal with any of that. 

J:  Oh right.  That doesn’t fall under like, “How do I move my business forward? How do I attract more clients? How do I manage my employees?”

M:   No.  How do I create a culture? How do I do this, how do that, how do I just service the clients that I have? Like how do I do any of that?

J: Right.

M:  So I think the health things are harder because you’re scared anyway.

J:   It’s emotional – that’s the difference.

M:  It’s really emotional.

J:    Other things can come in to your business there can be other things. 

M:  Tension, Anxiety

J:  I’ve talked to people who have dealt with tornadoes and dealt with hurricanes. It’s emotional but itss not your loved ones’ health. 

M:  Right. 

J:  And that draws you in at such a deeper level.

M:  Primal level.

J:   It is. 

M:  It is because you’re so worried about it and you have to manage that and you know I have seen people deal with it in kind of two different camps.  Like there’s the people who deal with it by completely ignoring the health thing or their emotion of it and trying to bury themselves in their work so that they don’t have to handle or deal with any of the emotional.  And then I have also seen where people have kind of maybe swung a pendulum in completely different direction and have really abandoned kind of the work of entrepreneurship, then the business flounders and the business suffers.  And the dual pressure of that is really, really high and so the question becomes then how do you manage all of that so that you’re not drastically swinging from one direction to the other.

J:   I think part of it is just having an awareness that it’s coming no matter what. 

M:  That’s so cheerful.

J:  Yeah but if we had the conversation like, “Welcome, you have started a business you are responsible for these things and no matter what, at some point, to somebody you love in your life something is going to happen.”  Like when that day comes and that phone call comes in what next?  How do you stay on top of this?

M:   It’s one of those things that I just had a conversation today with a young woman who’s thinking about going into business for herself and in my same field. She was just in crisis moment and I said to her in all reality, let’s take a deep breath and let’s understand that what you’re describing is not going to change.

J:  And will amplify. 

M:  She wasn’t ready to hear that yet.  But what you’re describing is going to be a constant and consistent frustration for you.  I mean she was really feeling like terror.  I don’t think justifiably but whatever. 

J:  Her life was not impaired.

M:   Her life is not mine and her life is not in peril so you know everything is subjective in that sense.  You don’t want to judge somebody’s feelings.  It’s just that from my perspective what she was describing is a fairly common occurrence.  It happens every 3 days that you run into somebody in my industry who doesn’t see the value of what you do and in my mind you just move on to the next person because you’re beating your head against a wall to even talk to them.  So that was the conversation we had and so the conversation that we had is – if this is something that you want you need to be ready to feel like this a lot. 

J:  Yeah.

M:  And then you need to be ready to feel the complete opposite of it and then you need to be ready for both of those things to be happening at the same time. 

J:  With a bunch of other things. 

M:  Right. That feeling of terror and that feeling of joy to happen from moment to moment or really literally together. 

J:  Oh yes simultaneously.

M:    Because I am in the moment of really kind of elation with my business right now. I’ve got all kinds of happy things happening.

J:  You’re bringing on new clients.

M:   New great clients. Big, big projects.  It’s a really exciting time and all I can think about is I have to go sit at the hospital for 4 hours or 6 hours or however long it takes for some doctor to put my husband under anesthetic.

J:  And do the thing.

M:  And restart his heart.  There is no way to say it’s not scary.  You have to almost compartmentalize that so you can enjoy what’s happening at work while you’re at work and then handle what’s happening at home when you’re at home. The problem is as you know, when you’re an entrepreneur, those boundaries are so consistently blurred that it’s really, really difficult to set them in any way especially emotionally.  Awareness is a great first step, but…

J:  I think awareness is a great first step and I think also trusted advisors. 

M:  Yeah.

J:  The people to lean on.  Like I can tell you the difference between a crisis we had five years ago and health issue that came up a year ago.  The way I responded was so vastly different but nobody should have to go through the learning curves as a solopreneur.  I lost a pile of clients the first time around when I went completely black. Like I was unavailable in answering emails I think for a couple of weeks. 

M: Ouch.

J:   I just couldn’t.  My mind was just not available. 

M:  Right.

J:  But I recognized it would have been looking back and having learned that all I needed was a few things in place.  If I had ever just hired a temp…

M:  Right.

J:   …to come in and just do basic assistant type of things.

M:  Yep.

J:   I would have always had at least a slight system in place where if I needed to do that I had somebody at least responding to my emails, checking things and just telling me you know what if you could just do these three things.  Here are the people that have something.

M:   Here are the huge priority things. Just do those and everything else can wait.

J:   And that I could have totally managed but I didn’t. Again, nobody was having the conversations. 

M:  Nothing in advance. Nothing set up. No systems in place, no processes. 

J:  Right, because I am a solopreneur and I am winging it.  That was one of the things I really learned the value of a solopreneur and relationship with an employment company – a temp employment company.  It’s an important thing and then creating just a few simple systems that anyone with some general office admin skills and so forth.  They love to be organized.  Like that personality loves to be organized so they get near your hot mess with emotions and they’re just like oh I got this.  They love to be a hero.

M:  It’s almost like that kind of calm center in the storm that you want to go to and now you’re not treading the crazy of work you want to be next to that person because they’re calm and collected and centered and just dealing with it. 

J:  I also think the second thing I really learned this last time around that was really obvious is I required more people to engage in the process.

M:  Yeah.

J:    I just demanded it of family and of additional relatives. I said I cannot do this alone, what do you want to take.  You’re going to need to take some shifts at the hospital. It was great because at first I just unwind for the first hour but then it was like oh I can check my phone.  I can do a few emails that kind of stuff.

M:  Yup, I can take care of the emergencies.

J:   Yeah. I can put fires out and stay connected.  I was not missing.

M:  Well and that seems like a theme too that communication and even vulnerability where you’re being honest with them about what’s happening and saying I am asking you for a moment of grace.  I am asking you for just a little bit of patience and understanding and I am asking you to help me by prioritizing what you’re sending me in this precise moment in time.  And I am asking you if you’re going to be ok with this not happening at this exact moment. 

J:  Yeah.

M:  And I really do believe that when you develop relationships with your clients like both of us do, you can ask for that because you’ve bought yourself the credibility to ask for that.  You bought yourself the trust to ask for that by doing that in advance.  Patrick Lencioni calls it Vulnerable Trust.

J: Yeah

M: Where you are willing to be honest and you’re willing to open up and say I don’t have it all right now.

J: Yup

M: The baskets are falling.  I can’t do it all right now, I have to be here.

J: I’ve also learned as a solopreneur you don’t always tell them what.

M: Right. 

J:  You don’t invite them into your crisis or your drama

M:  You don’t invite them into your crisis or crazy.

J :  Because everybody’s got different crisis and crazy and I don’t welcome judgement.

M: Right.

J: I just don’t and so it’s like I just can be, you know.

M: But you can be honest without being…

J: I can be transparent without being burdening.

M: Right.

J: I guess that’s kind of how I view it,

M: There is too much information.  There is that professional line where you don’t need to necessarily give anybody the gory details.

J: I think another thing learned over the years that I would share with somebody as they are planning for something. Schedule the unpacking emotional time a couple months out.

M:  OHHH.

J: It’s so damn important.  I am saying you get away, you schedule some time with a therapist or something because you are shoving things into corners.  If you’re a doer and if you are kind of the lead in those circumstances, you’re taking all sorts of stuff and your taking your own emotions and feelings and your shoving them in a corner somewhere. 

M:  Yeah

J:   Because you really can’t at that moment if you stood and processed them you become unfunctional.

M:   Right and well that’s because they are debilitating.  You just can’t do it. 

J:  And they’re overwhelming.

M:   And they’re overwhelming.  But if you don’t handle them they will come out in inopportune moments.  I had a moment that I am really not proud of on the phone with my best friend. I was driving, I was talking to her on the phone yes – yes – yes – yes I know. 

J:  Hands free.

M:   But whatever it wasn’t of course it wasn’t.  I’m not yet confessing to a crime so we’ll just say at this moment in time it is still legal in Minnesota to talk on the phone while you’re driving but it won’t be soon so I’ve got to get into that habit.  But anyway, I was on the phone with her.  I was kind of going through everything and so I was starting to feel really overwhelmed because I was like and this happening and this is happening and this happening and this is happening and I was allowing it to come together from its corners into one big ball in the middle and then she asked one simple question that kind of piled on the new thing in a tiny little way.

J:   It was the cherry on top. 

M:  Like a cherry on top or like that one thing that you put at the top of a pile where you’re like I think I can carry all of this so I will just add a sock to the top of it and the whole thing like tumbles down so she asked this one minor simple little question and I just exploded.  And I wasn’t mean I was just bawling and I am driving down the highway.  Ok if I tell you how fast I was going I will be confessing to a crime.  I was driving down the highway way too fast and it was like it was pouring rain even though it wasn’t because I couldn’t see anything.

J:   You had hit it.

M:  I hit the wall. It was just that one moment in time and I was just like (baby crying noise). Like you can’t even when somebody is like that you can’t even understand what they’re saying.

J:  Well, and I’d love to see more men do this. 

M:  I don’t remember what I was saying.  I would love to see it too because I do think it’s one of those.

J:   I think it’s in there.

M:   I definitely think it’s in there and it comes out in different ways.  I mean I think they are taught different ways for it to come out.

J: I hope so. 

M:  Which is really in some ways fortunate and some ways unfortunate because I think a lot of those ways are very aggressive and physical but I think it does come out.

J:  It’s got to come out. 

M:  Yeah. 

J:  That’s my point is it’s gonna come out.  And as business owners is it gonna come out on your employees?

M:  Yes.

J:   Is it gonna come out on your clients?  Is it gonna come out at an inopportune sales moment.  There’s your worst place.  Let me label them.

M:   So let’s just call all these emotions.  Like let’s just call them a fart because its gonna come out on some point. 

J: Oh it’s inopportune.

M:  When it’s brewing it’s gonna come out.  It is always gonna come out at the worst time.  Really a sales meeting would be the worst time.

J: Or if you are giving a presentation.  Multiple sales meeting presentation.  Avoid that people.  And truly that was the other thing I learned cancel things. 

M: Yes.

J: Look at your schedule and take a deep breath and be like ok my number one priority is this person. 

M:  Right.

J:  I made that choice.  So my number two priority is my clients and my business

M:  Yes.

J:   And then number three is what else can I take on.  No, I am not making a bunch of these meetings. I need to move these sales calls.  I will give you a hint. Don’t try and sell anything while you’re in this position.

M:    Absolutely not.

J:   You are about the worst salesperson and you will attract the world’s worst clients.

M:    Yes.

J:   And when you get out of this crisis you will look back and go how did I get that client? 

M:  Well and how did I miss the red flags. Cuz it will be the clients that you know you shouldn’t work with. 

J:  It’s not a right fit. 

M:  But you will miss the red flags

J:  Yes.

M:  because you are not in your head space. 

J: So I would definitely tell you look at your calendar and you wipe out sales calls for a little while.

M:   And you know I am a huge fan of networking but that would go for me too.

J:    Oh you need to. 

M:  Cuz you can’t be building anything and you’re not in your best place. 

J:  No. 

M:  You’re not in your best place.  I had a networking meeting today and I’m in the middle of all this right now and I am not in my best place.  At all.

J:   And its ok to be vulnerable… 

M: Yep.

J:  …and so forth but it also needs to be self-care.  That’s what I learned is you look on there and you pull that stuff off and what moves onto the list is ok where can I just breath. 

M:  Yeah.

J:  Where can I just like you were doing where can I just stand in that or how can I. Because your family member’s scared so not only do need be there in the moment of whatever the procedure…

M:   But you have to be around for everything else. 

J:  But they also just like you need some support right now.

M:   Yeah. And need to be heard cuz they are processing too.  And you know it’s your husband or your parent. You’re kind of one of their people.

M:  Yeah, I mean in my case I am the person.

J:  Yeah.

M:   And so there really isn’t much else.  I did make him tell his mom but other than that you know he never really talks to anybody.  It’s not in his nature.  Well it’s not in most people’s nature honestly.  Like I’m kinda one of those verbal blah blah people.

J:   But in the world of Facebook and so forth you know like I do get used to people like there are certain people that now will share. 

M:  They’ll overshare.

J:  Like they shared at that level.  We’re standing in that space of some will and some won’t.

M:  Yup.

J:  And figure balancing that kind of stuff out.  Those are definitely some of the things that you truly could spend just an hour.  Pull out a piece of paper and just be like my plan B.  If I’m called away by an emergency for 2 weeks my plan B is I will have hired a temp at some time. If you’re a solopreneur I highly recommend that.  Will have a hired a temp at some time who you know I can give a few passwords to and they can get in and help me scour email and respond quickly and just mitigate.

M:  Yeah.

J:  And I am out of this. 

M:  Well I have been so one of my things, kind of goals for the last year has been setting up my in case I get hit by a bus stuff.

J:  Yeah.

M: And that’s your plan B because you basically have been even though you haven’t.  So setting that up and setting up communication systems.  What I realized there’s a big gapping hole in it and nowhere written down in one document the client, their content information, and the services.

J:  Oh hell. 

M: Like the most basic thing.  The passwords are fine and this is fine and that’s fine but the name of the business, the name of the contact person, their contact information, all in a single document with what they pay and what we’re supposed to be doing for them like that document doesn’t exist.

J:    You don’t have the mother document. 

M:  But it will be by the end of the weekend because I am working on it already.  It’s just one of the things that has to happen.  And it is one of those most boring things to sit down and do but you just have to watch an episode of Games of Thrones and get it done.

J:    There we go.

M:   I can rewatch something from season 3 or something that was not my favorite season.

 J:  That works out.  That’s part like that was a perfect example of how in the middle of the crisis your brain then is like, “wait a minute I need this.” 

M:  Wait a minute I don’t have this.

J:  So now were not just dealing with business and marriage and a health crisis were now saying oh wait and my plan B needs to be addressed.  But again that’s challenging.  If that doesn’t get done by the end of the weekend that’s ok. 

M:  MMMM. 

J:  And having grace with yourself.  That was the other thing I learned – having grace.  Staying connected and being part of your business but having grace with the fact that you’re not a 100%.

M:  Yup.

J:   You know what you do is not gonna be at 100% do not try. For me in particular I do not try and write content while in a crisis.

M:  Right.

J:   There is some form of torture to the people receiving that are like I think there are a bunch of words missing from here.  And I‘m like, “it’s a fill in the blank mystery document.”

M:    Well it’s your blog post mad libs style. 

J:  I know it’s like you can fill in the blank.  They’re like am I supposed like add my own thoughts to this. Yeah, that would be good.  That would be really good. 

M:  Don’t you just love the way you cover. 

J:  This is the outline.  That what it is. 

M:  Then there’s in my case the grace from your employees like to say out loud I am not my best self right now. What is happening right now my head is here so I am distracted I am missing steps I‘m not being as exact as I need to be.  I am asking you for some patience and I’m asking you to come to me one at a time please with your questions because I am gonna need you to pay a little bit more attention to the finer details because I haven’t provided everything that I normally do and I know that that’s gonna be sporadic.

J:   Did you have that conversation kinda early on. 

M:  I did that today. 

J:  Ok. Good.  I would definitely say in your case with the employees and stuff that’s an important conversation.

M:  I think it’s an important conversation and it’s also kind of back to that theme of vulnerable trust.  I think it’s an important part of managing instead of important part of leading for people to realize that you’re a person. 

J:  Yeah.  And you’re not invincible.

M:  Because you can’t always be your best.

J:  None of us are invincible. 

M:  None of us are invincible And so it’s like when that young woman called about the issue and I said this is where you live now.  Welcome to the emotional roller coaster of owning a business because one minute you’re celebrating and the next minute you’re crying in the shower and that’s just how it works.

J:   And it can all be within the matter of 10 minutes. 

M:  Yeah.  Literally 10 minutes from one to the other and it will be just (swoop) gone.  Up and down and up and down and that’s ok cuz that’s what you – I wish there was a way to tell people that’s what you signed up for but there really. Isn’t any sort of way.

J:   There is no entrepreneurial training course. 

M:  No and you know the only thing I can liken it to, because I don’t have children, but when people talk about having children that’s the kind of ways that they talk about it.  Like there is nothing that can prepare you. It changes your lives in ways you can’t imagine.  All of those things that they say are what I say.

J:   It’s rewarding and you wouldn’t give it back

M:  And you wouldn’t ever do it differently but at the same time and so it’s the way people talk about kids so it’s the only metaphor that I have and it works cuz a lot more people have kids then have businesses. 

J:  Yes. 

M:  I wonder if that’s because the barrier to entry is lower. 

J:  And it’s more fun.  Yeah it’s just more fun.  And that’s a good thing.  Plan B. 

M:  Yes

J:  That’s what were both kind of sharing is

M: Plan B Plan C Plan D. 

J:  Yeah and my thought was Plan B is the one sheet I was saying just a loose outline having a few people know you start there.  Plan C is you start to get your ducks in a row the wills, the passwords, you know what I mean like you make is accessible and people are aware.  There are people in my life that know how to actually unwind my business.  Like I have spoken with them and they’re aware and they’re going to acquire my business they’re going to need to unwind they’re going to need to help my clients go in other directions and I know that they will do that if I got hit by the bus.  They would do that well and with integrity and take great care of them so I always feel good.  I always feel good about my clients and being taken care of but that was not year one.  That was definitely 4 or 5.  Like it takes a little while.

M:   It take awhile and you know I’m building my infrastructure to have that.

J:  Yeah.

M:  Because as not a solopreneur I mean that’s what I set out to be but as somebody with staff you have the capability as you’re building a business that can run without you which is ideally what you’re trying to do so that you can work on it instead of in it.  As you’re trying to build a business that can run without you then that means that you have that built in. Truly. It would still hurt.

J:  Well it still requires who technically inherits the business now that they’re the leadership.

M:  Right.

J:  Will they have some of the vision and understanding of what the overarching goal was.  Those kind of small details.

M:  I had somebody once ask me if I regretted naming my business BadCat because they said it just doesn’t seem like it has longevity and I was like ummmmmm I think all of the best business names don’t ever seem like anything when they start…

J:  Yeah. Do you remember the first time you heard of Google. 

M:  I was a little young so probably not.

J:  I remember the first time I was like what.  What the what. 

M: Google gaggle glaggle.  Well I do remember what we used before you know the internet directories.  The phonebooks for the internet.  I do remember that but I honestly don’t remember.  I do remember the first time I heard of Facebook.

J:   Ohhh.

M:  Yeah cuz I was in college when Facebook started and you could only get it if you had a college email address. 

J:  Ohhh. 

M:  When Facebook first came out you had to have a .edu email address in order to be on Facebook. 

J:  You were an early adapter. 

M:  I was yeah, it was the first year it was publicly available but only to college students that’s when I signed up for Facebook.  And I didn’t want to cuz I was back in school after an absence it was the second degree for me but I was in a Bachelors program so it was I was probably 5 years older than everybody and I felt ancient – in a Bachelors program at 26.

J:  That’s awesome.

M:  All of these kids you know. I look back on it now and ugh what a horrible, horrible person I was to all of these kids. I’m a non-traditional student.

J:   By about 2 years. 

M:  Yeah by about 8 months.  But they were all getting on Facebook and chattering about it cuz it was the cool thing to do and I was like I wanna be cool like you and so I got on Facebook and have loved it ever since.

J: Hey you know we got on Snapchat and had a grand old time.

M: We did get on Snapchat.  For a minute and a half we had a grand old time. 

J:  We snap each other every once in awhile.

M: Well if you do I have missed them.

J:  Oh damn I try.  It’s fun.  It’s fun to see what the next generation is building and trying and what we can bring. 

M:  And it’s so interesting to see what’s going to replace all of this.  It’s almost like there have been things that have come and gone and there have been things that have tried and there have been things that have done things that are a little bit different but with privacy and with data and this that and the other thing but it seems like universally we’ve wanted the information to be so easy that it requires it to violate our privacy.

J:   And we’ve agreed to it. 

M:  Yeah.  Over and over and over again in those terms and conditions that we don’t read.

J: That do pop up all the time and are required. That we create thank you people. I think it’s your right though it’s about the next plan. Because if you can remove all of those practical matters from your anxiety it just pulls everything down a notch or six or ten.  So you feel like you can focus and you’re not feeling distracted.  In addition to the anxiety and the fear and the what’s gonna happen and this and that, there’s also the guilt because at every turn you feel like you are letting somebody down.  You get pulled in so many directions.

J: Oh god thanks for bringing that up.  And that’s what I meant about the fact at a certain space when its ok or if it’s ongoing new like somebody’s diagnosed with something that’s going to have longevity or whatever there does need to be a space somewhere within the first year I believe to unpack a lot of that.  The guilt, anxiety, the frustration, the fear all of that cuz it’s been my experience that otherwise it just bottles up somewhere and farts all over everybody.  And this last time. 

M:  Like one of those really, really bad….

J:   Bad Stink.  Clears the room. 

M:  Stinkiest. 

J:  And this last family health crisis I asked for that and they made that happen.

M:  Yeah.

J: And I was just clear. I could just tell it was just so freeing.  It just removed so much stuff that was just in there.  Like you said the guilt, the anxiety.  And just stuff at the time needed to handle.  I needed to handle the circumstances at hand and make a pile of decisions and read a lot of paperwork and do an unrealistic amount of google searching and everyday was a new group of challenges.

M:   It’s frustrating.

J:  You feel really helpless.

M:   You feel really helpless and kind of stupid.

J:   Oh yeah.

M:  Like I am used to feeling like boss lady, in control and like let’s roll and you don’t you just have to sit there twiddling your thumbs in hospital waiting room. 

J:  And the emergency room and the little bay.

M: And then you’re like that person on Grey’s Anatomy when Meredith comes out and says “It’s that one.”  How do you know?  Because I know what the wife looks like sitting in the waiting room.  It’s a look, it’s presence on a person and you can tell, you can tell when you walk in and so it’s like ugh. How do you be that person and this person at the same time?  How do they fit in the same body?  All at once.

J:  And they do. 

M:  Yeah.  Well they have to. 

J:  That’s just it – they do and they have to but you wanna make sure that self care lands in there somewhere.  Otherwise it just rolls into additional things that really jeopardize your business longevity wise. 

M:  Yeah, yeah.

J:  And if you made it out of the first year you are doing great and this thing is probably off the ground and gonna make it but these types of things can escalate. 

M:  It’s still fragile.  Just making it thru the first year as business doesn’t mean that the business is bulletproof.  It’s still a fragile kind of entity.

J:  It is.

M: It’s like the first year is like the gestation and then it gets born and now you have to – I keep going back to the kid thing but you have to like care for it and nurture it because at any given point if you turn your back for just a second too long at the exactly wrong moment it’s just gonna roll off that changing table and land on its head. 

J:  And that’s that ongoing anxiety.

M:  Yeah and that’s why the terrors go away. 

J:   I am watching it, I am watching it, we’re good, we’re good, I got my hand on it like we’re ok. 

M:  Then all of sudden somebody gets sick and your back turns for half a second too long.

J:  Yup.

M: Yup.

J:   And that is again that’s the key to learning how to ask for help.

M:  Yeah. s

J:   I see that a lot amongst women and men in business, no I got this.  And it’s a look it’s not a statement it’s a very stoic-y. 

M:  Wall, kind of.

J: Yeah.  There’s a stature to it and I’m always like oh but you don’t and I know it.  And this is gonna hurt even more and instead you could just be like but what I could use help with is. 

M:  What you could really do for me is this.  Do you think you could take care of that? 

J:  Yeah.  It’s like a lot of times and now that they have meal delivery things.

M: Well yeah and that’s the other thing there are so many things out there that can take care of the daily life things for you.  If you don’t want your meals delivered you can at least get your groceries delivered.  You know you can get your toilet paper delivered, you can get your everything delivered, set it up on subscription. 

J:  Plan B. 

M:  Plan B. 

J:  Just know that when you start your business just know that it’s going to be part of it. 

M:  So today’s theme for If These walls could talk is Tenacious Women Have a Plan B.

J:   Yeah tenacious women have plan b. 

M:  That’s right.  C, D F, G and all the way to Z…. 

J:  And they don’t panic about it.

M:  Nope.  Execute the plan b.

J:  Yeah. It’s like go-go plan b.  You can even talk to other people about your plan b in advance.

M:   Alright well as I am attempting to become this amazon that I have in my head of a tenacious woman with a capital T and capital W I will tell you Plan B is an essential.  Thanks everybody for listening to If These Heels Could Talk.  I’m Michellle with BadCat Digital.

J:   I am JoyGenea with Solutions by JoyGenea and we thank you so much.  Have a wonderful rest of your day.