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Michelle and JoyGenea go into detail about their experience as a non-athlete to make taking care of their bodies a priority.  

If you are not an athlete you will totally get this conversation and realize you are not the only one having these thoughts.  If you are an athlete who works out at a gym, maybe it will help you appreciate what it takes for someone who is not to start to create this as a habit.

Michelle shares a quote she was given “Physically Fitness is being fit to do what you want to do physically.”

In the middle of this whole podcast, we entrepreneurs came up with a whole plan to take over the gym world.

We somehow segway into talking about role-playing games.

If you want to laugh and relate to non-gym people trying to figure this whole thing out you need to listen to this and share it with your friends.  




J:  Hi! I am JoyGenea owner of Solutions by JoyGenea.

M:  And I am Michelle and I own BadCat Digital Marketing.  Welcome to If These Heels Could Talk.

J:  Today on our show we are going to talk about, in detail, the non-athlete fitting in at the gym.  So I will confess first I am not an athlete.  I did try numerous, ok pretty much every sport and the one I really loved, you’re gonna like this, was synchronized swimming.

M:  Yeah, I am gonna laugh at that.

J:  And we had school issued swimsuits to go with that. 

M: NOooooooooo!

J:  Oh yeah baby.

M: I had school issued swimsuits in middle school as well and they were color coded by size. 

J: Yes, so it starts there. So really part of this conversations starts in that experience.  So notice the key word there was I tried.

M:  Yes.

J:  Ok.  Didn’t succeed.

M:   Ya see I didn’t do that. I didn’t even try the athletics.  My brother was the athlete.  I was the reader.  He was the athlete, he did the sports, he did all of that.  I read and watched movies.  I did play basketball because I was taller than everybody in like 4th grade. 

J:  I bet they were excited.

M:  Yes, they were excited then but then when everyone caught up in 6th grade it became clear how klutzy I was.  We were done with all of that. By probably 7th grade I was completely done with athletics.  Kinda forever.

J: I got into drama, choir.  I went the nerd route. 

M:  Totally.

J:  Books.  Athletics just didn’t fit in there.

M:  Yeah.

J:  Fast forward a few years (we won’t tell you how many) and you realize.  I realized, I will talk for myself.  I realized that I might have missed something and that was taking a better relationship with my body and a routine for maintaining and taking care of it. 

M: That’s still an ongoing realization for me. 

J:  Ok so I’ve been doing my trainer for a couple of years.

M:  So when people talk about their bodies like that all I hear is “my body is like doing laundry.”  Like my body is taking care of my car.  All I hear is a chore list. 

J:  Yeah it’s still a chore list for me. 

M:  Yeah.

J:  But I think that’s the non-athlete fighting to get into that gym. Like I think that’s just my non-athletic thing.  I don’t know that I am ever gonna cross that threshold into like “This is the most amazing thing ever”. 

M:  Yeah, so I have been going to gym now for six weeks working out pretty consistently for six weeks.  Literally for the first time in my life.  It’s awesome and feel great but I come back from these workouts and my husband will say things like “we’ll turn you into a gym rat yet” and I’m like no.  No, no, you won’t. 

J:  Not gonna happen.

M:  Not gonna happen.   Because if I become one of “Those People”.

J:   It will be a slight miracle. 

M: “Those People” who wear the super tight skimpy clothes. I literally almost ran into a guy in the hallway at the gym yesterday who was wearing a pair of bicycle shorts that should not have been in existence and barely were while he was wearing them.

J:  I was just gonna say

M:   And then he walked into the weight room and I was like “oh oh you’re gonna squat in those. 

J:  And those poor seams.

M:   It just makes me really uncomfortable.

J:  Yeah.

M:  It’s a lot. Its a lot. A lot of everything.  It’s a lot to see from complete strangers. And so you know like when you were a kid and you walked to the pool and it was the first time you had seen a naked woman or something showering at the public pool in the locker room.  We didn’t do that in my family.  We didn’t have naked time shared bathroom. This was a private thing. When you were in the bathroom, I don’t care if you were brushing your teeth or peeing you were in there alone. Period. The whole thing is just a complete mental shift for me.

J:  Yeah. No. It’s a culture. What I am starting to really recognize is that it is a culture that you and I are not familiar with that a lot of people are not familiar with.

M:  Well it’s so uncomfortable because I don’t the rules of the culture.

J: Right. Like I don’t know when I am supposed to wipe off the equipment and when I am not. Because there are people who wipe it off before they work out and after they work out and during their work out and then there are some people who wipe it off with a towel they brought with them which seems a little gross to me. After they’ve wiped themselves.  

M: They wipe their faces off and then wipe of the equipment. 

J: Or don’t do anything. And they just walk away. 

M:  They don’t do anything. They just walk away.  But it seems to be more like the treadmills get wiped off but the weights never do. Um it’s just like I don’t get the rules.

J:  Right. That’s what I mean.  That’s where I finally realized going to a big box gym was going to this other culture and there wasn’t a book, there wasn’t like a travel guide. Now that you’re going to the gym.

M:  Some sort of language guide that helps you translate you know 700 grams of protein or 700 grams of carbs into actual words that mean something to you.

J: Yeah. 

M: Yeah. 

J: There was a place where I got where it was worth it.  I wanted something bad enough that I was willing to start to figure out the culture and the language.

M:  Where was that? 

J:It was, um it was when I realized I was putting on a decent amount of weight in places I didn’t want have it because I was sitting sedentary way more then I used to and what I had realized is that I had had the privilege of jobs that kept me physically active for 8 hours a day so I was practically getting paid to workout. To have this great workout thing going on and If I started to put on weight it was really kind of simple I could just cut back on some calories and it would work out great.   I am a little bit older then when I was doing that and it just working out and there’s a point where the number is just going up. Like it has to stop going up and I also recognized that I’ve been reading some books by Dr. Daniel Ahman talking about brain fit and brain health and every time he is like you gotta workout you just got to get yourself physically active on a daily basis and the thought of that was like, “seriously, I am tired.”  I don’t want to add one more thing. I was like this is not gonna happen. And right about that same time I got hired by a personal trainer to assist her with some of her marketing and she had a small little place and we had this great conversation about my fear, hate, and loathing of gyms and my avoidance to working out.  She’s like you’re my target client and that helped though to actually for the first time ever be heard and vocalize what that is.  It’s a thing. 

M:  It’s a thing because of the smell. Gyms have a smell and it’s a combination of sweat and the cleaning supplies. And the locker room has smell sounds.  The sounds of the lockers, the sounds of the echoey showers, the sounds of people grunting on equipment like all of those things add up to…

J:  And the exercise class that’s going on!

M:  With the chipper woman and the tiny little body who is all “let’s roll” “let’s go” “you can do it!” You said you had all of these jobs that kept you physically fit and were watching yourself get bigger or gaining weight and I never was physically fit.  I grew up a fat kid and I’m still a fat adult and its’ just added over time and it happens so slowly you don’t really recognize it until you get to a limit of something that you’re like, “oh that’s a limit that I can’t justify away.” Like my size is too big to buy a winter coat anywhere or um or I’m gonna have to start ordering from those mail order places that the people in Rascals order from.

J:  That’s a limit.

M:  Yeah. There are limits. And your brain does a really good job…

J:  Oh that brain

M:  …of justifying things away and making excuses for yourself and telling yourself that it’s not that big of a deal and looking in the angle just right and holding up the selfie camera just right so that you don’t notice and if you don’t see it you can fool yourself. 

J:  Until someone else takes your picture.

M:  Well there’s that.  Or a video or really until you hit whatever that limit is and I think that limit is different for everybody. But I think there is also the you can’t have shame in that limit.

J:  Yeah.

M:  You can’t have that limit mean you hate something because if you hate your body while you’re trying to fix your body it ain’t gonna work. That’s when you look for the quick fix and the easy solution instead of really doing the work to make it work.

J:  And that brings up a really good point for me when I started my goal was to show up twice a week.  Like that was it.  It was to stop the scale from climbing and to show up twice a week. That was it.  If I can do this.  And I told her that.  My goal is this not to increase weight not to do any of this other stuff. I just want to be showing up and if I can do this for six months I’m going to be really excited. And then were gonna talk about some other things and she even got that was you know she wanted to increase you know and she really started to get and the small group that I work out with very similar. They’re coming back from injuries some of them have been athletes but things really have to be modified and done differently and that helps.

M:   Has that kind of training atmosphere has really helped? 

J:  It’s helped to slowly progress me so that as time went on I, after I crossed the six month mark I went out and got the box gym membership. My husband is an athlete, he shows up there. That’s what was more humiliating honestly is the fact that every morning, my husband gets up, gets dressed, walks out that door and goes and does this and I did try once to recruit him for this and I learned like that’s not his job. He takes care of himself. He has his routine he does his thing.  And as soon as you try to put me in there…

M:  And it didn’t work.

J:  NO and it wasn’t good for our relationship. 

M:  We tried too because of the workout buddy thing. You feel like, “I’m married. I should have a built in work out buddy.” 

J:  Yeahhhh

M:   Right.  But that doesn’t work.  And mine was so wrapped up in so much shame that in order to cross that threshold and really work through some of that emotional stuff I didn’t want him to witness it.  I didn’t want him there while I was trying to do a single pushup and crying.  Like that’s not something you want somebody to see.  And I didn’t want to work out with a good friend.

J: Yeah.

M:  I wanted to work out with strangers – people who didn’t know me so I didn’t have to like process that in front of people or with them.  I needed to just deal with it myself.

J:   Did you have that awareness right away? 

M:  No. 

J:  Oh ok.

M:  For years I’ve been thinking if I could just get this going with this friend.

J:  I know you have tried a couple of different approaches.  I know you tried a little bit of crossfit action. 

M:  You try the different things for like three weeks and then something always happened and whatever that was would just derail me.  Like you pick a trainer and the trainer decides to change their schedule. Oh well so now the schedule doesn’t work so that’s your reason/excuse.  Or the trainer stops or transfers you to another trainer well now you don’t like that new trainer so now that’s your excuse or they’re too far away or they’re too close or you know this isn’t right or that isn’t right and it just doesn’t matter what it is. 

J:  So you’re a few weeks into this? 

M: Yeah. But this one feels very, very different. 

J:  How?  The mental conversation what you’re talking about, the excuses.  Like I cannot believe even two and a half years into this the layer of excuses I can still have every morning.

M:   Oh yeah every morning. But the difference is really that this is the first time that I have ever just felt better because of this.

J:  Well I have been watching that happen in you.

M:   I have more energy.  I’m focused more during the day.  I can get more done.  I am more creative. Things are clicking.

J:   Nice.

M:   Things are just clicking.  And I don’t want to jinx it because it’s going really well. So to me like you lay in bed on Tuesday morning after Memorial Day after a three day weekend where \you’ve eaten more then you should or you’ve maybe…

J:  consumed a bag of chips or two. 

M:  Maybe. Or the classes haven’t been going on for three days because people deserve their vacations and you just lay there and you’re like no this is happening because this is the thing that’s making everything work better. 

J:  Yeah.  This is the lynch pin of the things that’s making like this is the turning point that makes everything else better so I’m not giving it up. I hear ya. I think one of the biggest things for me has been the de-stress factor for me.  I get mad at the dumbbells. I get mad at what I’m doing.  You know what I mean. 

M:  You’re literally throwing something away growling, at the trainer.

J:   Oh yeah.  This morning we were doing some frog leggy thing.  I about died. 

M:  I kinda like being mean to the trainer.  I do.  I do.  And I talked to the trainer.

J:  So you’ve warned them.

M: Yeah. 

J: That’s good. 

M:  And he’s like I get I totally get it because that’s what it is. So when you glare at me or roll your eyes or tell me to get the F away or whatever you say.  I understand what’s happening. And it’s ok.

J:  Nice.

M:  I mean, there’s that thing in your brain about excuses but there is also that thing about finding the environment where it’s ok. 

J:  Yeah.

M:  To be whatever you need to be.

J:  Yes.  That takes getting through the culture.  Stand up to go to the box gym and be like I’m walking thru those doors and I don’t have to understand everything but I know how to push the button on the treadmill.

M:  And I’m super uncomfortable walking in the doors and walking up the stairs and getting to the space. 

J:  Yeah. 

M:  That’s really uncomfortable for me.  Once I am there I am comfortable.

J:  Yeah.  And you just keep kinda like for me I just kept kind of going and I have tried just about every class.  I found for me if I have a class I will show up.

M:  OH yeah.

J:  I will show up

M:  Because it’s on your schedule.

J:  Right. It’s on my schedule, it’s not gonna move and then when they move it , just like you said I am livid.  I’m like, “No, no, you did not move that class.” So for me I’m getting to the box gym because they have Zumba.

M: Yeah.

J:   And I found Zumba and for me I forgot how much I love to dance. Bad at it, doesn’t matter.  M:  It doesn’t matter. 

J:   Oh, it’s so not pretty.  But I love to show up and get all sweaty and lathered up and dance away my Saturday morning and I am so proud I am there.

M:  You know, in a different context, “Sweaty and Lathered Up” really sounds like an 80’s hair band album, doesn’t it?

J:   If you had seen some of the lovely outfits I was wearing at the beginning of this honey.  I really was pretending.

M:   Did you wear one of those high leg leotard things.

J:    No, I was kind of dressing like a guy.

M:   Oh ok.

J:   I was doing the shorts .

M: Yeah but that makes more sense for you.

J:  Down to your knees. The shirt way to big. I was hiding behind the clothes and then I don’t remember what happened but it was just a few months ago, and everybody noticed it at my little gym.  I don’t exactly know but one day I was like you know what this may never change and I’m not wearing these ugly clothes any more.  I just went out and bought the spandex and the tank tops.

M:   See but that’s the thing about loving what you are. 

J:  Yes. 

M:   Loving what you are and not…

J:  And there was that moment.

M:  …putting hate and shame to what you are. I am significantly overweight. The doctors would call me morbidly obese and that’s ok. 

J:  Yeah. 

M:  Because I’m never going to be… it’s not in my personality type, it’s not body, it’s not in my priority list to be a small person or to be a petite person that’s not my thing um but I am going to enjoy what I’m doing and I am going to get to the point, I read a thing the other day that said um physical fitness is being fit to do what you want to do physically. 

J:  Yeah.

M:   That’s what it is.  And so if what I wanna do is weed the garden.  If what I want to do is go on a walk with my husband.  If what I want to do is go to a park and walk a trail for a couple of hours.  If what I want to do is pick up the tiny little four-pound dog without having effort.  That’s what I need to do, I don’t need to do anything else.

J:  Yeah.

M:  So And if I can do that for as long I want that would be great.  And so for me it’s not the number and it’s not the weight and it’s not any of that.

J:  So, I am going to throw a question in.  Why haven’t the nerds of the world created a better gym. 

M:  I know right?

J:   Like why isn’t there laser tag. Why do we not have a VR room.

M:   Oh my god laser tag would be awesome. 

J:  Right like you could get me to do a million of these things. 

M:  Paintball. Paintball would be so cool. 

J:  Yeah. 

M:  Or some sort of what about larping.  Larping would be great physical fitness.  Live action roleplay for people who are non-nerds out there.  It’s really physical, you’re moving around. It’s a roleplaying game but you’re doing it with your body.

J:   Right.

M:   So why aren’t we doing it.  That’s a really good question.

J:   Yeah, I’m like somebody needs to make the nerd gym. 

M:  Or gyms need to understand that it’s not just about drawing more athletes from one gym to another.  It’s about creating a space for people who don’t understand the rules.

J:   Well from a marketing perspective that seems like a whole target market that’s not quite being tapped.

M:   Well and thing is that if you go to, if you go to a gaming convention or you go to a con like a comic con or a fantasy con or some sort of convention where you go to or places where people do cos play.  If you go to these kinds of communities there are a lot of people who care very much about their bodies, who workout a lot but you can kind of totally tell especially on some of the guys from the neck up there just like complete Steve Wozniak kind of geeky. Like unkept hair, glasses, don’t take care of their skin and then from the neck down they are like ripped. 

J:   Yeah…

M:   It’s because they like to lift weights and like to go to the gym and they like to do all of that thing.  But it would be cool if there was some sort of, that’s a really good idea, some sort of community of like for geeks and gamers at a gym location.  Because you could easily take a lot of those same activities, those creative problem-solving activities, those escape room kind of things, those larping kinds of things and turn them into physical.

J:  True physical

M:    But I wonder if it’s the divide.  You said it yourself I wasn’t an athlete.  I went the geek route.

J:  Right..

M:  And maybe there is a really deep divide there that just isn’t ever going to be overcome. That’s interesting. 

J:  I don’t know if it’s too deep. I just don’t know that anybody explored it far enough to see how.  I think in the right market.

M:  Well and I do also think that it’s because gyms are run by athletes.

J:  Right.  And they’re always targeting. They’re targeting what they know which is themselves.

M:  And what’s interesting to me is the conversation.  I do push back on this a lot in conversation with people. People talk about how team sports build leadership skills and build communication skills and all of that’s true.

J:   Oh, absolutely.

M:   But so do roleplaying games. So does some kinds of gaming.

J:  Yeah.

M:  Board games, they build leadership skills they build teamwork skills they build creative problem-solving skills.

J:  Absolutely. All of those things are part of it. It’s just a different course or path to that. So is Girl Scouts. So is Boy Scouts.  And so are those organizations and club types of things. Same.  Drama.  I learned a lot.

M:  Absolutely.

J:   Teamwork. Drama. DECA.

M:   DECA.  We had academic decathalon.

J:   OOoo.

M:  Odyssey of the mind.  Yeah all of those things, mock trial, all of those things teach all of those things but because there not as spectator friendly.  There not as visable and I don’t think they are as celebrated.

J:   Yeah.

M:   You know um culturally as celebrated.

J: I agree.

M:   But I think the concept that a strong body makes a strong mind is what you’re looking for there and that a strong mind can create a strong body. Like that’s you know I think because we have it down that a strong body creates a strong mind. People say it all the time.  People know it.  But if we can get the concept that a strong mind creates a strong body.

J:  That would be the shift from athlete to just person. 

M:  Like we are all just people here.

J:   Yeah.

M:   So it doesn’t matter if you don’t understand that when I cross my arms in front of me and put up some fingers that I am invisible.

J:  Yeah.

M:   Yeah.  Cuz that’s a live action role play.  Why are you laughing at me?  I am confessing about our dorkiness. 

J:  I am gonna learn that live action role play. That sounds awesome. 

M:  We should do a joint larp session.

J:   We’re totally gonna do that now. 

M:  We’re totally agonna do that now. 

J:  We’ll record it for you too because that’s gonna be funny.

M:   NO No I don’t know if we will do that for the first one but maybe the second one. 

J:  The second one.  Yes.  You, um we brought some material with us for today, so.

M:  Why? 

J:  Because. 

M:  Oh yeah, we were preparing.

J:   Yes.

M:  So I pulled this, I pulled this exercise quotes thing from some website somewhere and there was this um, the one I liked the best, because it kinda talks to you as you’re aging and like how this matters ya know cuz I am hitting 40 soon.

J:  I’m already in there. 

M:  That’s part of the conversation too.

J:Y eah

M:  Because you know as your body gets weaker and it gets harder and then it gets harder to justify that you’re not physically fit because just what you can do devolves quickly.

J:  Yeah. 

M:  So there’s this guy Cicero.

J:   Hmmm

M:  Cicero. 

J:  Who’s Cicero? 

M:  I think it was an 80’s boy band.

J:   No.

M:    Ah no I think he’s a philosopher um a Greek philosopher I think.  Um but exercise and temperance can preserve something of our early strength even in old age and I really liked that because I like the concept of temperance because it’s not just exercise its also this idea of enough is enough.  Moderation is enough.  Small amounts of high quality are enough and I learned that.  You know if you are a chocolate junkie, if you love Doritos, if you love all of those things, which I absolutely do.  100%. I’ve learned that a tiny little bag of Doritos or half of a tiny bag cuz those tiny bags are like 3 servings which is completely ridiculous.  In my world if the container fits in your hand it’s a serving

J:  It counts. That’s a serving.

M: So Ben and Jerry’s

J:  Is a serving.

M:  Is a serving but it’s not, it’s like 4. 

J:  Ah no, it’s 4 yeah.

M:  And I did this after I started to eat a little better about two weeks in I had cut my sugar intake so much that I had like three spoonfuls of Ben and Jerry’s and I was like buzzing.

J:   Oh yeah. 

M:  I was buzzing. 

J:  Isn’t it nice.

M:   Yeah the buzz was good.

J:   Yeah that’s what I mean.

M:   Cuz I got it from 3 spoonfuls.  I didn’t have to eat the whole serving or 4.  Yeah but what I discovered is that a small piece of a high quality chocolate satisfies the itch just better than a whole bag of Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups did.

J:   Yeah. 

M:  Um plus you feel not as bad.

J:  Right.

M:   And I don’t mean shame cuz there was a lot of that too.

J:  Oh yeah. But when you overeat. 

M:  Your brain just feels tired and like ugh and ugh and like you just don’t wanna move

J: No. 

M:  Yeah. This last weekend was a holiday weekend and we went to a movie which was the first movie we’ve been to since we started this whole journey thing and of course you gotta stop at the Walgreens or whatever and get the totally illegal candy so we got candy and popcorn at the movie and I was I had a stomach ache for a day and a half after I ate a bag of candy and a thing of popcorn. 

J:  Oh yeah. What candy did you have?

M:   Peanut Butter M & M’s. 

J:  Yeah oh good lord that will do it. 

M:  They’ve gone from the regular bag and the king size bag to the regular bag and the sharing bag. 

J:  Oh no I did not. 

M:  The sharing bag is bigger than the king size bag. 

J:  So did you each get your own sharing bag?

M:   No we got the bigger version of the bag you know the standing bag that’s got the zipper on top cuz your supposed to like keep it for a long time.

J:    Oooooo yeah that didn’t happen

M:  Ah no it didn’t. We ate it all in the movie. 

M:  Yeah but you learned. 

M:  I don’t know.  I don’t know that I learned something. I don’t know I learned enough to change because going to the next movie I will probably do something similar but I might get less.  I learned enough to just get less. 

J:  That’s learning. 

M:  But that’s that temperance thing.  Yeah. Right?

J:   Yeah that’s your quote from Cicero. 

M:  What did you find? 

J:  I in my google hunt found a variety of things but truly my favorite was the Cosmopolitan magazine UK.

M:  Cosmo.

J:  I know lovin the Cosmo.  Haven’t gotten the Cosmo in years and it was the 10 things people hate…

M:  12 totally?

J:  Legit reasons to hate the gym. And we love a lot of these like the music is terrible, everybody parades around almost naked pretty much.

M:   Like I said.  Everyone is basically naked the whole time. 

J:  Which if you have not been around that, that’s a little stunning.

M:  Yeah.

J:  The whole sweat on the seat from the butt crack.

M:   Oh yeah that’s nasty. Well then when are you supposed to wipe the seats? Are you supposed to wipe it with your sweat towel or are you supposed to get the like antibiotic thing to wipe the seat.

J:   And that feeling.  Ok if you are a non-athlete that feeling that everybody in the gym is totally staring at you while you’re working out.

M:   Well and you see and I thought it was just me.  I didn’t know that other people felt that way.

J:   I know.  And it’s part of why like then the brain conversation kicks in and you practically, I don’t know about you but you practically have some form of panic.

M:  Well there’s an anxiety there.

J:  Thank you.

M:  Like people are gonna look at me and be like what are you doing here. 

J:  Number 10 is really good – the weird guy grunting noises. 

M:  Oh yeah. But you know what I do them too and they are odd. 

J:  If I had not tried a martial art for a couple of years I would not understand that but had helped me to learn to release sound as needed to breathe properly.  That was helpful. Um yeah number 12 is also quite lovely. Everyone else looks bloody amazing. 

M:  Ya know I actually thought that too but then I realized it was about the time of day you go to the box gym. 

J:  Ooooo. 

M:  If you go super early in the morning everybody is really old.

J:    Ooooo.

M:  And then you can go and feel like you’re awesome because that’s when all of the like 70 year old guys go.

J:  Again, where is my cultural book for this trip.

M:   I didn’t know.  Like I didn’t know that when you go to sign up at 3:00 in the afternoon that’s when all of the LuLu Lemon wearing stay at home moms who kinda of are a little wealthier and they’ve made it part of…

J:  They’re athletes.

M:  That’s when the athletes are there. In the early afternoon when the body lifters are there or the weight lifters are there and they all look amazing but if you go at 5:00 in the morning. It’s people who are just kind of you know on a treadmill for a half an hour and nobody looks amazing at 5:00 in the morning like I don’t care how fit you are. You still look like a zombie at 5 in the morning.

J:   So I guess what I would encourage everybody to understand is all of your concepts and beliefs about this might not be right. And take a little courage to walk thru the doors and test it.  M:  Well and the other thing is there’s options to the box gym.

J:   Yeah. 

M:  There’s options to the boxed gym. 

J:  Lots of them.

M:   I mean the YMCA – there’s a bunch of kids there so now I avoid children at pretty much all cost, not having any, other people’s kids are annoying. They just are. When you don’t have kids…

 J:  No it’s different

M:  …other people’s kids are annoying because you have no ability to stop them from talking, quiet them down, understand why they’re sticky. I don’t understand why kids are always sticky. But um there’s fantastic options and there are things that are a little bit different. There a fabulous dance studio in town called Revolver Studios with a body positivity advocate who runs the studio so all of the classes are there for everybody of every size and her mission is for you to love yourself and move. That’s it. Just move.

J:  And yoga studios. 

M:  Yes. 

J:  There are crossfit gyms and yoga studios and all of these options. 

M:  Sometimes the yoga studios, like everything will be something will trigger something for you.  Like yoga studios remind me of that box that you had when you do you remember the box in gym class.  You had to put your feet up against the box and then you had to lean forward ya so we had this box is was part of the presidential physical fitness test. Remember?

J:  oooooooo

M:   We would take it twice a year in gym class. We would have to take this stupid test where you had to climb the rope to the top and do the one-mile run.

J:   I went to the right school.

M:  You did.  I did not apparently.

J:  Noooooo

M:   And then there was this box so my body is proportioned with really long legs and really short arms.  It’s a proportion thing plus I was always overweight, fat kid  always overweight and carry a lot of weight around my midsection so when I had to sit on the floor and put my feet up against this box and lean forward and they would measure how far your fingers went along this scale on top of the box.

J:  Got it.

M:  That was the torture test. And I would stretch and stretch and stretch and the gym teacher would put like his or her hand on it and be like get to here just to here just get to here and it just and so then kids would tease you and would become a thing and so for me that’s what yoga is.

J:  That’s trauma.

M:  Yeah.

J:  And all that stuff goes to the gym with you by the way.

M:  Oh totally. 

J:  You show up for that first time and all of those experiences from childhood in gym classes and so forth. 

M:  There so many things from the gym so many visceral things from sounds, smells that will trigger all of these memories and you know it’s like the color coded swimsuits when we were in middle school swim class and those swimsuits by the way they were made out of something some sort of fabric that expanded three times when you got in the water so you had to put on a swimsuit that,  if you didn’t want this thing to fall off you had to put on a suit that cut off your circulation and then when you got in the water it expanded and just got soggy like a diaper.  It was awful. But ya know.

J:  Ours were not that bad.

M:  Well and it took until I was maybe 35 for me to have empathy for the seventh-grade boys who had to wear a version of them that were cut like underwear with drawstrings.

J:    Ooooo that’s not nice.

M:    And so these poor kids I mean because they would be self-conscious about wearing something that small.

J:  Right, who wouldn’t.

M:   And there’s also parts and things in their bodies that are moving around without their permission when they are 12.

J:  Right, Yes.

M:   And in front of a bunch of girls in swimsuits.

J:   Not nice.

M:   And so this thing would have to be unforgivably tight. So invariably some boy would jump into the pool and class would have to stop and all of the kids would have to leave so that a naked kid could get out of the pool.

J:   Oh wow.  Invariably it would happen at least once a year because he just didn’t want to put on something so tight that when he was sitting there.

J:  Think he’s got trauma as an adult?

M:   I know, right?  This poor kid.  It would send me into ah. I can’t even. I can’t even. 

J:  Oh yeah.

M:   Like whoever that kid was, every year there was at least one.  And even if there wasn’t it was rumored that there was. It was always like this ah that kid whoever that kid was that was always who supposedly had been naked in the pool. But by the time my brother went thru the same school two years after me they had done away with those.

J:  They saved it for you.

M:   Yeah. I think I was one of the last years that they had that.

J:    Sounds like a good thing to let go of.

M:  Yeah.  Size coded, color coded

J:  Yeah expanding

M:  Expanding swimsuits for children

J:  yeah no trauma there.

M:   Noo.

J:  Builds character.  As our parents would say builds character. 

M:  Its like Calvin and Hobbs when his dad says everything builds character. 

J:  Yes. 

M:  Yeah, my parents at least didn’t do that they just said I just don’t want to mow the lawn I don’t wanna pay for someone to mow the lawn. I’m cheap, go mow the lawn.  They didn’t pretend that it was some sort of character building exercise.

J:  Nice. 

M:  They just said they didn’t wanna do it.

J:   I love that your parents were that direct.  I like that.  To wrap up we definitely thank you for listening.  Thanks for taking time to be with us.  And you’re not alone.  To those of you non-athletes out there that are like I wanna take better care of my body I wanna have a better relationship with it I know it’s connected to my brain and my overall like wellness as a human being.  You can do it.  Find it look for it hunt for it ask for it pay for it.  Like I recognize that I was gonna be excited if I showed up twice a week for six months.  Like that was the whole curve.  M:  Yeah.  Realistic expectations for yourself and change your key and I think the other thing that’s key is just to keep trying cuz there are so many different ways to do this .  There’s so many different experiences out there and five years after an initial realization that something needed to change I’m finally mentally I felt the shift.  I’ve felt the mental shift of this is this is a priority for me this is important to me and before that just all of the just ignore all of the things that tick you off about the conversation.  Like all of the things that people talking about their Keto, Paleo, whatever diet of the day, intermittent fasting or whatever is trendy right now um and all of the conversation people have about this is the way to do and all of the books and all of the things that are just meant to sell you stuff. 

J:  Oh yeah cuz it’s a huge multi-billion dollar market.

M:  It’s a multi-billion dollar industry. 

J:  Lets not kid ourselves. 

M:  Yeah and so and and it’s a huge one and we both have worked for people in fitness and weight loss so we understand what that that is. It’s a thing that promises you something without helping you understand what you need to do to achieve it um because that’s how you sell things. 

J:  Yeah.

M:   You sell things by you know picking on people’s emotions, but it doesn’t help it doesn’t help any of it. So ignore it all and when your friends start talking about their latest Keto or how they threw around a tire in some crossfit gym or somebody starts saying well you should practice self-care so go workout… It’s like no. If I want to take time for myself I am going to do something I enjoy. 

J:  Right. 

M:  Yeah.  So just ignore it all and just move. 

J:  Yeah. Just move. 

M:  Just move.  Even if it’s just putting the remote control a little bit further away so you have to get up to get it. 

J: Yeah.  It’s a start. 

M:  That’s it.  Literally just move. 

J:  Perfect. Well that’s all for today’s episode of If These Heels Could Talk.  Thank you for listening. We hope you’ve learned a little something.  We hope you have been a little bit inspired and we hope that you will share this podcast with others. 

M:  Join us again next week when we talk about marketing business ownership and just trying to figure out the world around us. 

J:  Bye Now.